Nonviolent communication as a better way to talk about Lyme rage

I had a realization last night.

While dealing with Lyme-related agitation, people have been approaching it in two ways that have not worked at all:
1) You have to stop doing this because it's not acceptable.
For people with bad childhoods, hearing this makes them feel more shame. Shame leads to more violence. Also, so much in my life is unusual already. What is the real motivation to stop doing something just because it's "unacceptable" when I have had to do so many other unacceptable things to survive? (Think of how people in poverty might think the same.) "It's unacceptable" is a terrible motivation.
2) Bad things could happen.
Threats.
3) It's bad for me. You need to stop doing something that's good for you, and make your life harder, because it's bad for me (often someone who has a much easier life than me and a much less inflamed nervous system).

But those responses rely on shame and blame and force.

What ways of talking about Lyme-related violence would be better?

A) Concern for the person experiencing it.
Believe it or not, people committing violence are victims or symptomatic, the same way as people with other "conditions" or symptoms.
It's a symptom that something is wrong, whether with a person's biology, psychosocial environment, or their ability to meet their needs in other ways.

In the case of Lyme rage, it feels terrible. It's harmful to the body. It's likely neurotoxic and probably destroys part of the brain. The effects can last for hours. It feels like it fries the nervous system.

It would be a much more effective way to handle it, to talk to people experiencing Lyme rage and say, "Wow, it seems like this experience is harmful for your body and really unpleasant for you. Let's see if we can decrease the propensity of your nervous system to having it happen, and if we can decrease the occasions that can cause it."

Focus on the well-being of the patient.

B) Ask people what they need. What unmet needs could be related to this last-ditch effort by their bodies to protect themselves?

C) Talk about the impact on others, not as a "should," but just for the person's information. e.g., here's how I feel, it's not your fault, but here is the impact.

Blaming and "shoulds" almost never work. what works is listening to people in a nonviolent way, showing that you are interested in their well-being and they are in a safe place where they can get their needs met, and communicating nonviolently about one's own experience.

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