I guess I've found another cause -- violent people.

This is a group that almost everyone sees as the "other."

They seem so far from us, so vile, so evil. Even people with mildly violent behaviors are shunned.

I've realized from being in this group myself that violent people are one of the most discriminated against groups in society. 

This discrimination is justified by the assumption that violence is a choice. 

It is so funny how we discriminate between things that are not choices, which we indulge, and things that are "choices," as though it were possible to tell this from the outside.

However, violence is not always that much of a choice. 

In my case I've come to see that it's a combination of factors. Probably 80% biological/inflammation/disrupted nervous system, 10% my history, and 10% current frustration or mental habits/ruts developed when Lyme rage was worse.

It is so strange to have this huge range of symptoms, and to have one of the symptoms thought to be entirely my fault, and to see how differently people treat this one symptom.

Was my bad memory my choice? Was the intense fatigue my choice? Was 

Because those things felt if anything more my choice than the occasional times when I have yelled or thrown water I was holding or on very rare occasions hit people. 

In all of those cases, things happened before I had an idea of what I was doing, and I was surprised to see what had happened. Does that sound like choice? 

I am just sick of feeling like a bad person, when I am just experiencing a sort of Lyme-related nervous system reflex. 

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